Billybob's remake of - Getting a prat to kiss a know-it-all
by Billybob - csagun36
Summary: The original story by 'Wind-in-the-Trees', was first published in 2009. All traces of the author of this short story have disappeared from Fan-fiction dot com. There is even some-one new using that pen-name. I give full credit in my tweaking to the original. A Ron/Hermione romance with a far better summery to be found inside.


Getting a Prat to Kiss a Know it ALL

Originally By: wind-in-the-trees

Published originally on; 08/11/2009 - - - *However; the 'Original author' has deleted all published works and has departed as far as I know from Fan-fiction 'HP' writing

* This fact raises the question of "fair use" regarding the 'copyright' laws that apply to Fan-fiction stories written on the internet. We all begin our tales with the; **Standardized disclaimer**: is there anyone on this planet that doesn't know who has all legal copy rights to Harry Potter, with us in fan fiction just burrowing it for our own amusement and that of our few readers.

*With that said, how does the 'fair-use' concept apply to abandoned stories on 'Fan-fiction-dot-com' or to authors who have clearly left HP writing?

_**to Plagiarize**__: to take ideas/writings from another and pass them off as your own, (Webster's New World Dictionary –concise edition)_

I do not intend to plagiarize; I give full credit to the original author in word, sprite and deed. But this rewrite is based on a work published in 2009 and my attempts to "PM" the original author have repeated failed. There is even a newer member using the pen name.

*If the original author wants this 'pulled' and can prove he/she wrote it - (to my satisfaction) … I will delete this in a heartbeat.

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Rewritten by the ever humble; Billybob

**Category AU**/ - This tale will be **AU** …which means it will be set in an _**alternate universe**_ – as far from the world JKR wrote about in her books … which means dear reader …that – **my **-version of how; Ron, Harry, Ginny and Hermione behave will be very differently than JKR's …characters. - - So _**of course**_ the people in my tale are going to be '**OUT OF CHARACTER / and OUT OF CANNON' …duh!**

Again if you can't handle it – and want to go back to Draco/Hermione fluff… which some people think should be CANNON … hit the back button.

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First tweaked and updated by Billybob: Nov-09-2011 … last updated; 08-01-2013

Rated M - - - So this story will be rated - **M** - for mature content – but _not MA or _NC-17 …**for I don't write graphic smut. Read my other stories - if - you don't believe me. **As a matter of fact - I'm not all that hot writing teenage first-kiss kind of fluff either.

The sex activity in this story will be for the most-part … merely foreplay - meaning …actual sexual activity will be – _H__eavily hinted-at or merely implie__d_ - instead of - outright described - in the far more graphic MA or NC-17 style. However - the adult subject matter as in the – '_dialog_/_banter between characters' - _will include adult slang – swear words etc. - typical of sexually curious late-teen early young adults – savvy?

*This is a Ron-Hermione love-story. And - **No** - Ron is not the idiot he is so often portrayed to be in Fan-fiction.

Word count; 17,789 … this is an extra-short story for me … okay

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Warning (one): Unbridled butchery of the King's English is a common facet of this writer's modis operendi and I have also been rightfully accused of: - gross punctuation and grammar errors, obscene ramblings on tangents that distract from the main plot and repeating already stated facts and plot points over and over. I have a unique style …just saying.

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Roll film

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Fred and George walked up behind Hermione. "Well-well; look at whom we have here… dear brother - it's our 'favorite' … smartest witch of her age." George said with a smile.

Hermione rolled her eyes as she walked through the portrait hole and into the Gryffindor common room, her books held to her chest. Turning about abruptly she said sharply; "What do you two want …now?"

"We can't talk to you without wanting something?" George asked. "We're hurt." Fred pouted as he moved between the girl and the staircase up to the girls' dorm.

"Then what do you want to talk about?" Hermione sighed, as she stood defiantly in the middle of the room - looking back and forth at one twin and then the other.

"We have recently been informed …by a reliable source - that contrary to your public asexual persona – the truth is instead – that you've fallen into deep fancy with a certain bloke – does this rumor have weight?" Fred asked innocently, "A charming little red-headed Prat of your long acquaintance …perhaps?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she hoped she wasn't blushing. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well… we are just wondering. Our Mum has been pestering us recently - about giving her grandchildren and we thought it best to divert her attention by providing her with a far better target. So if perchance – there was a homegrown, red-haired Quidditch player's that you might have acquired feelings for… recently – - as compared to the internationally famous sort that you were so - "_**taken with"**_ - a mere two years ago. Such a budding romance could prove to be a win-win for all concerned. You'd make a sibling of ours deliciously happy and give our poor mother someone to nag – besides us," George inquired softly while rubbing one shoulder as Fred rubbed the other.

Hermione just rolled her eyes again, before answering with - '_**put-upon**_' - deep frustration. "You two are as subtle as a pair of breeding-heat dragons on the prod. For your information – as I have said at least three dozen times to your younger-brother - - Viktor Krum is just a friend of mine – with whom I am currently corresponding with; – as a friend".

"Then the rumors of you pinning away for Vicky's - 'hotness' - for the last two years are as inaccurate as the suspicion often voiced by your dorm-mates - - that you visited Bulgaria after your fourth year – where you engaged in 'around the clock' sex with the said; famous seeker?" Fred asked in a staged whisper that easily was loud enough to carry all the way over to the common room fireplace where Ron sat in a nearby corner in a high-back chair – staring into the flames – apparently lost in thought. - - However, once he overheard what Fred had said – Ron's eyes snapped up and around to stare hurtfully at Hermione – his face showing his growing annoyance mixed with an expression of deep unworthiness.

"Why do you go out of your way to torment him," Hermione countered in a far-softer tone that did not reach Ron's ears.

"We enjoy pushing his Granger button, because his heated reaction is always entertaining," Fred said happily. "Taunt you – then stand-back …and watch Ron arch his back and stiffen like an irritated cat – - for ever so regretfully he takes our pranks on him – these days at least - with an easygoing grace and remarkable restraint for a normally hot-tempered Weasley."

"By which ... Gred means - he's ignoring our pranks more often …mainly we think due to your calming influence. Now - on one hand - we are grateful - for he has beaten the snot out of the two of us - less often than he did just last year," George interjected, "being a goal keeper his ability to take punishment has increased ten-fold and his ability to inflict pain … has become increasingly worrisome. On the other hand; we don't really take being ignored very well. So for a lark and to pull his chain again ... we disrespect you, for by pranking-you even slightly - and the - **Ron Lion** - is quick to escape's its cage with a huge protective roar, and that's always FUN."

"You two have a death-wish … you know that - don't you?" Hermione commented drolly.

Fred then piled-on even more - with a deeply amused chuckle that his twin mirrored perfectly. "We enjoy living on the edge – but since when do you care whether or not we abuse our younger male sibling …without mercy? - It's been nearly a full month since he broke-up with the Brown tart - and yet - you're still giving him the combination ... _**cold-shoulder and silent treatment**_ ... that you started when Ron first took-up with that air-headed slag. No punishment the professors here can concoct - punishes ickle-Ronniekins as does your silence".

"You give me too much credit. Ron prefers extra-pretty… air-heads with huge Boobies as girlfriends – Lavender proved that". She said in a sour tone.

"Would you care to put that theory to the test?"

"What theory?" she asked genuinely puzzled.

"That our sibling strongly fancies big 'ta-tas'... air-heads over bookworms like - **you**."

"How?"

"Nothing easier," Fred said – "just turn toward-him and shower him with your - warmest smile - and witness for yourself … your effect on his currently overheated temper.

Unable to back down when her option was questioned, Hermione did as she was asked, - - and so …after taking a moment to compose herself and drawing on her inner feelings – long suppressed for the red-head in question. Hermione slowly turned – tiled her head down enough to look-up toward him through her eyelids demurely – and in the stereotypical pose of ligature's most flirting heroines … smiled softly - - letting for a moment her desire for him show on her face.

Hermione expected her tiny smile to have no effect. Instead the truth was both glaring and stunning – as a single soft smile of hers melted all the anger on Ron's face ... faster than the speed-of-light. His expression transformed quickly - abruptly losing his rage to instantly begin beaming in happiness in response to her tiny … 'come-hither' smile. His face now showed a near desperate need for her attention of an-intensity … that she had never noticed before. She saw the hope in his eyes erupt and all because she wasn't looking at him with disdain.

Hermione was gob-smacked by what she saw, and seeing for her-self the clear evidence that he fancied her a-bit more than she had ever suspected, thus-confusing the extra-smart girl more than she wanted to admit – especially to the twins.

"So – as you can see for yourself," George said in a smug tone, "one smile from you and he melts – like a fresh snowfall on a hot day. Poor lovesick Ickle Ronniekins is clay in your hands – to mold into whatever you fancy".

"I had no idea," Hermione replied honestly in a semi daze.

"We managed to see '_**that truth' **_without the use of spectacles, a-while ago - thank-you?" Fred said in a deeply mocking tone. "Our original question … however - still stands. Would you like our advice on how to get yourself a local boyfriend – who's interest in bookworms - you have tested in your own way and proven to be totally-sincere."

"I really had no notion, he - – I have wished for this – but believed… he didn't- -"

"He burns for you; that's clear - - with your slightest breath fanning the flames within him into a bon-fire. He is hooked to your fishing-line; Ron is… - good and proper – and with our advice you can land this catch – _**easily**_," - Fred said as he kneaded her right shoulder again with George copying his movements on the left.

Hermione took a relaxing breath as she tried to regain her composure – as the twins actually got some tension-knots out of her shoulders. "Advice on what exactly,?" - She asked warily.

"1 - How you get the bloke you 'might' fancy."

"2 - How you keep him."

"3 - What to do with him once you have him."

"4 - How do you train him-up to eagerly fulfilling your slightest whim."

"5 - Why he does the things he does."

"6 – How to keep-him under tight control - for the rest of his days."

Hermione's eyes were a bit wide as she looked back and forth at the twins. "Okay, I'll bite… lacking much experience in such matters – pray - enlighten me," she murmured in a semi-amused tone … blushing a bit.

"for #1 - Kiss him." George answered the first question. "Or better-still; find a way to get him to kiss you."

"for # 2 - Snog him and aggressively show him that he can't live without you." Fred moved to the second question.

"for # 3 - Snog, shag, touch, lick, suck." Both boys grinned.

"for # 4 - See last answer." George said.

"for # 5 - either he's afraid of mucking-up his friendship with you – or - His brain resides in his pants." Fred said.

"for # 6 - You're 'quim'." The boys grinned. "As in: - giving it as a reward; or - taking it away as a form of punishment."

Hermione was blushing hard as she glared-back at them. "So… wizards are only interested in witches - just as a means to have sex," she said, her angry eyes darting between them.

"Well … yes, little ickel Ronniekins is … up to a point, but it's not as 'cut-n-dry' as you might think." Fred said shaking his head. "Boys in general at his age … can't wrap there mind around the vague concept of being in love, unless they are getting regularly laid." This comment naturally made George laugh.

"That's just pathetic?" Hermione frowned in disgust.

"True so-true," Fred replied. "Blokes are visual animals sexually, we are attracted to what we can see, smell and touch. Birds on the - other-hand - are turned-on by Emotions - - which are scary things that we males don't understand or feel comfortable expressing."

"That's true enough." Hermione said.

"So to conclude; all blokes are randy Gits – all the time."

"Point taken,! - - So your saying that Ron will always want sex," Hermione asked clearly disappointed.

"Well …**duh**!" the twins replied in unison

"So how does a girl - **know** - that the bloke she fancies - wants something more long-term than a quick hump and dump?

"That's the sixty-four thousand galleon question… isn't it?" - Fred said with an evil smirk.

"My Angelina tells me that there are loads of moments when I don't act like a totally randy bugger," George then explained. "That's how she knew I loved her. Gred here - didn't really want to 'talk' to her all that much; all he wanted was the kind of snog that led to other - - more directly sexual activities."

"True so-true, I was a 'randy-pig' back then … still am - really," Fred admitted casually. "I'm not sure exactly when Angelina discovered that Forge was genuinely interested in what she thought about stuff - and had 'interests' in her that went beyond mere friendship. Angie being a smart-girl, she is - knew that my twin would never make a move on his brothers bird, any more than you wanted to risk your friendship with ickle Ronniekins – especially if he didn't feel the way you did about him.

"Yes; that's true enough," Hermione admitted thoughtfully - without intending too.

"Angelina finally decided to go after the kind of bloke she wanted," George said. "She asked Gred - _**point blank**_ - about their future together and when he replied that he didn't foresee anything changing from what they had at that moment … she abruptly climbed off his lap in the middle of the crowded common-room and into mine and took-up snogging me instead. There was no row, no tears, no shouting, just out with the old - - and in with the new. It was funny really …it took weeks before anyone realized that Angelina had swapped brothers".

"And you were alright with this?" Hermione asked the twins point blank.

"Well yeah, she wanted to settle down a-bit and be monogamous - whereas my twin didn't," George said casually. "Gred isn't the type to want a bird to set on his lap - just for a chat; he has a low threshold of boredom - - so five minutes of non-Quidditch conversation and he's trying to slip a hand up her skirt. His interest in Angelina was casual and didn't really extend beyond sex and Quidditch".

"My twin, Feorge – always saw her way differently than I did. He wanted to do non-sexual stuff with her; a bloody waste of precious time in my view," Fred admitted without batting an eye. - - His male chauvinistic-pig …caveman mentality showing through perfectly. "Time that could have been better spent shagging or snogging – he wanted to spend just looking into her eyes like a lovesick puppy. My twin has gone mental recently – weak in the head when it comes to birds".

"Oh my, and I here I thought the day would never come when there would be such a noticeable difference between you two – 'Well-done;' George, bravo." Hermione said somewhat amazed.

"See what I mean Feorge – even Granger thinks you're off your nut!" Fred said clearly irritated, "spending precious pranking time - talking about unimportant stuff, - - with a bird for Merlin's sake. Chatting up a bird is fine, but talking about; careers – marriage - number of nippers and your future life together as a couple… is ruddy dangerous."

"Birds really get-off on that shite… big-time, I get that – okay?" - Fred said with distain. "It's often the last-chance key to their knickers when all other ploys fail – precisely because to them - talking such crap… means we-blokes might actually want more - than a straightforward piece of arse".

"Sweet Merlin Feorge ... you're starting to spout the same kind of marriage rubbish that Ronniekins has secretly had for Granger for years now," Fred spat-out unintentionally in a tone that made it perfectly clear how ridiculous he thought talking marriage to any bird was to him.

"Fred – you really are a pig, not every bloke wants to die a bachelor," Hermione mumbled, hotly before looking away, not sure what to think about all of this. Had this conversation been rehearsed - - was this a prank by the twins - to get Hermione to admit feelings that Ron actually didn't share. How far would the twins go to embarrass her? On the 'other hand' – what if Ron did fancy her - how was she supposed to keep him …or know if he loved her - if she didn't sleep with him first?

"She's starting to doubt us again – brother mine … but then-again there is one more vital-bit of information that we haven't told her yet," Fred said.

"Too right my brilliant twin." George replied. "You should know miss high and mighty bookworm - that what our little brother feels for you right now - - goes beyond mere fancy."

Hermione's head shot up, her eyes wide. "He - **What,**?" She gasped.

"Oh - - he's fallen – 'in love' - with you - and I mean – hard," Fred laughed as if stating the obvious. "Angelina pointed it out to Feorge and me, just the other day - that Ronniekins has all the classic signs. - **First off**; He spends time with you when he doesn't have too. He could just as easily hang-out with his male dorm mates when Potter has detention; instead he's **always** right by your side".

"That much – **was -** consistently true until you started giving him the cold shoulder!" George pointed out forcefully.

**Secondl****y**; He actually listens to you when you speak, instead of tuning-you out like I use to do with Angelina when she rambled on forever - - and like you do consistently ... I might add; Ms. Lecture-mouth Granger", Fred said. "He doesn't always agree with your point of view - but he does listen. Far more often than Harry ever-does, by-the-way".

"Yes - I have noticed that much, - thank-you!" - Hermione reluctantly admitted.

"**Finally;** The Lavender affair of earlier this term was obviously the stupid Gits response to Gin-gin telling him that you had a passionate – 'hands-on' - **fling** - with Viktor Krum … he didn't take kindly to the thought of you - _**doing the nasty**_ - with someone other than him."

Hermione stared at them both … gob-smacked, for a long-moment before smiling sadly - as the light of belated understanding went-on in her head. "Oh. - So that's why he took up with- -" She began ... her voice fading to nothing at the end - while at the same moment - **not** - denying the Krum fling actuation's one way or another.

"So – now that you know Ronniekins deepest and darkest motivation for the Brown disaster – tell us the truth – dear Hermione - - do you fancy our little brother …at all?"

"Yeah …I think, - I just might," Hermione muttered, biting her lip as she blushed.

Fred smirked. "Wanna get him as a boyfriend and see where that leads you both?"

Hermione pause for a moment to think it over - and then slowly nodded in the affirmative, blushing harder as she looked-up at the twins. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." They said together.

"What is the real reason you're doing this?"

"Both boys suddenly tried overly hard to look innocent, -"Would you believe that we love you like a sister?"

"Hermione looked a bit shocked for a second and then she looked doubtfully at Fred then George. "Since when?" - She snorted with clear disbelief.

"Well …to be honest," George admitted reluctantly. "We had always hoped that Ron would find someone a little less - **prudish** - than you. No offense intended; but ickle Ronniekins is a Weasley and we have a much admired reputation of having a God-given - talent - for the expert loving of really hot looking women … and you certainly don't qualify in anyone's book as - '**hot**'." Fred interjected with his atypical modesty - while undressing Hermione mentally and shaking his head sadly at her obvious lack of curves.

"Bill and Charlie had reputations as being very-popular with the witches. Percy doesn't count … and I doing my-bit to uphold the title of ladies-man," Fred continued with overly-exaggerated pride. - Even Feorge did his fair share until he *fell* for Angie. "

"However - unlike the rest of his brothers Ron hasn't really played the field – girl wise - while at Hogwarts. His first and only brief 'fling' was with Ms. Lavender Brown and that was more out of revenge for your Krum - _**slap and tickle**_ - than any genuine desire to get in Lavenders knickers."

"You may not have realized at the time - but your tryst with Krum had an audience. Our Gin-gin was an eyewitness to one of your library snog-fests that term - - and then in early November of this term, strongly pointed out to Ronniekins – his lack of experience in the snog and … _**cop-a-feel**_ … department - as compared to you and Krum-e-poo- -"

"- -is that what people think of me? … that Viktor- -" Hermione interrupted.

"- -Made you into a woman … oh yeah? - Also; Gin-gin told Ronnie that you clearly fancy the Krum-sort … the rich and famous type - way more than our scrawny - '_**poor as dirt**__'_ - sibling. The rumor mill has also widely theorized … that you downplay your feminine side to the blokes at Hogwarts to save all your hotness - exclusively for your favorite Bulgarian … and to keep lovesick blokes like Ronniekins at arm's length - - Worst yet - the silly git believes it … totally?"

"Well, my lack of make-up and low cut tops - is somewhat intentional," Hermione reluctantly admitted, "but not in the way you're thinking. I don't want a boy who's only interested in me because the size of my chest or my willingness to let him fondle it".

"What chest?" Fred asked casually only to be elbowed in the ribs by his twin.

"So having ickle Ronniekins fancy you without a notable figure on display must be a 'plus' for you …Yes?" George asked.

"Well yes … I guess so, but that same theory applied to Viktor – up to a point," she replied in her standard lecturing mode. "What everyone around here fails to realize is that - '**my** - Bulgarian' … a bloke that I'm incorrectly - _**alleged**_ - to have slept with - was initially interested in me - because I was the first girl he ever met - that didn't instantly swoon over his fame and fortune".

"But you warmed up to each other rather quickly", Fred countered. "Gin-gin told us she - **saw** - you two going at it … _**full-bore**_ … in the stacks in the darkest part of the library *and* out near the lake - hinting to us with… _**insider-like**_ … knowledge - that your fling with Krum went on gang-busters during the following holiday …between fourth and fifth school terms?"

"I had a relationship with Viktor, which I now admit - went beyond holding hands – but the fling also 'ended here' at Hogwarts … at the end of fourth year – I did not go visit him and our romance has been over now – for two years … whatever we had is in the - **past tense**! - Why can't I get anyone in this damn-castle to believe that?" Hermione spat rather forcefully. "We've gone back to just being friends - and even when we did - 'date' …if you could call what we did at Hogwarts - dating? - We didn't do even half of what your sister's dirty-mind thinks we did … physically".

"You're missing the point here - - the fact of the matter is that you 'did' have a - **fling** - with Krum – and however innocent – it was a romance that you've kept secret from both Harry and Ronniekins - until the night Ginny spilled the beans and poor heartbroken Ron took up with Lavender," Fred pointed out harshly.

"Preferring to spend your time in Krum's arms - instead of Ronnie's was your choice – as was keeping the whole thing - **secret**," - George said with surprising candor. "The ongoing lies you've told to conceal your Krum romance however … have come back to haunt you …striking home in early November, at the awkward moment when you had - **finally** - found the feminist courage to ask Ronnie to the 'Slughorn Christmas party'."

"Snogging Krum first and then lying about to Ron was really a dumb move and I admit I was surprised when I heard about it," George continued with an - **air of maturity** - so clearly lacking in his twin. "You are not known for making mistakes of that magnitude. A smart witch would have known that sooner or later the truth comes out and usually at the worst possible moment. Secondly; a repeated lie over time only magnifies the harm".

"A straightforward rejection would have kinder in the long run, as most of the time he doesn't think of himself worthy of you anyway. Your next big-error was in letting Ginny tell him, being the youngest and the only girl she can be vicious when angry - - the knowledge of your years of lies more than anything else; rendered poor heartbroken Ronniekins - vulnerable - to evil temptation - which the 'Brown Slut' was more than happy to provide".

"So if I understand you two correctly," Hermione said putting two and two together. "Ginny told him a *highly exaggerated* story about my fling with Krum – a blown out of all proportions love-affair with heavily implied sexual activity … that - **never** - actually happened - and in his atypical immature fashion - - Ron bought his sisters; line of Bollock … '_hook, line and sinker_' - and then goes after the Brown Slag to get his revenge on me?" Hermione said in an emotionally conflicted tone.

"Don't be daft," George said irritated at Hermione trying to shift the blame. "Ginny told Ron what she did – that you were - *beyond his romantic reach* …to cause him the maximum amount of emotional pain – and in that she succeeded beyond anything even she expected. She regrets it now and has said so …to us – but 'not' to Ron".

"She flew off the handle … just because he said some un-nice things about her immoral behavior with Dean Thomas", George continued. - - "Or do you still refuse to accept the fact that you are Ron Achilles' heel. Ginny knew to cut the deepest - to hurt Ron beyond the pale – all she had to do was 'mix a-little fact with fiction', and convince him that - **you** - had lied to him for two solid years – heavily implying that in your heart you knew that Ron would never … **measure-up** … to be half the man - Krum is/was … as your lover".

"Feorge is right," Fred interjected. "You are Ron's biggest weakness – by telling him you fancied someone else more than him – Ginny all but literally *disemboweled* the poor twit. He took-up with Brown out of - _**despair**_ - of having *lost you* to Krum … to prove to him-self … if no one else - - that there was a least one girl on this entire planet – who might fancy him a-little-bit."

"Ginny – did this to hurt me …to sabotage Rona and I becoming a couple?" Hermione asked angry and semi-confused.

"**No** – damnit – you're not listening again - - Gin-gin's target was always Ron – she lashed out – pushing his *self-destruct* button, by telling him he'd lost you forever. Stop being so ruddy paranoid and buy yourself a clue – not everything our sister does is aimed at destroying you?" George said becoming exasperated.

"But that's not true Ron didn't lose me to Viktor – not for **long** - anyway?"

"Even if it was only temporally - it doesn't matter squat … if you never told him - **that** … now does it?" George said sharply – "And each time you've told him since November … that nothing happened with Krum - and that he's just a pen-pal … it all rings bells in his ears as a huge-painful **… **and deliberate …** lie**. A huge non-stop deception intended to conceal a *still ongoing* romance – filled to overflowing with … unbridled sex".

"I didn't have sex with Viktor." She protested overly loud.

"If you told him that – right now, knowing that he knows you've - lied … to him before, - how could you prove the truth of your words – in terms a thick Prat like Ronniekins would understand?" - George semi-growled in irritation.

"I see your point, but he's been semi-avoiding me since November. So much so that I no longer believed he fancied me back."

"Have you suddenly been struck stupid - Are you deaf-dumb and blind? – You started this avoiding game, not him - - back in November, when you sent a flock of birds to attack him, and then after the break-up you started giving Ronnie the; 'cold-shoulder …silent treatment' and that strategy began after returning from Christmas-hol …in early January". George spat. "We've seen his *pathetic attempts* to strike up a conversation with you - **after** - his break-up with Brown. - - - Sweet-Merlin girl – you've *_**growled**_* at him - just yesterday - for saying good morning."

"I did not growl at him," she replied half-halfheartedly.

"Whatever" - - George said dismissing her comment out of hand – his patience with the bookworm reaching its end. "After the test we just conducted - how can you still miss what has always been - right under your ruddy nose. It's gone way beyond mere fancy with him, and if you are ... **still** – unsure - about how you feel about him in return? - Then perhaps we should - *forget* - this whole … 'get you a local boyfriend' – idea?"

Fred nodded his head rapidly …in rigorous agreement - while elbowing his twin and gesturing with his head toward the boy's dorm stairway … as a retreat route.

"Forget what we said before about his clearly unrequited love for you," George said in a highly disappointed and deeply frustrated tone - "if you don't want to take his feelings for you seriously. If you're going to dump him anyway - in a week or so – as your rotate boyfriends… just like all the other sixth year… big-chested …air-headed , birds - - like Lavender, has done with other blokes for the last two odd years.

"Don't toy with his affections for our sake - *or* - out of pity. Don't waste your precious revisiting time - on a pathetically immature Weasley. Maybe the rumor mill was right all along - and you do think you can do better – after graduation perhaps?"

"Yeah-yeah," Fred said awkwardly while backing away from Hermione and pulling his brother with him - - inching back toward the stairway. "Sorry to have bothered you Hermione – we were clearly wrong about your feelings for him – you go on giving him the cold shoulder – sooner-or-later he'll get the hint …and leave you alone …for good!"

"As for us - we'll keep looking for a - far less prudish - bookworm for our pathetic sibling – perhaps a Ravenclaw bird wouldn't be so picky?" Fred said. "All we need to make our Mum happy is a smart bird with average looks that will rate a nice bloke over how much gold he has in his pocket. Such a bird shouldn't be too hard to find - - maybe a Hufflepuff instead …how about that Feorgiekins? – Ronniekins puts a-lot of stock in 'loyalty' … don't you-know?"

"Thanks again for listening – no real harm done… and good luck by-the-way …with the next 'Krum-e-poo'… or whoever else meets your extra-high boyfriend standards – so … night-night now!"

"Hold-on, I didn't say I wasn't …interested in having a go with Ron as my boyfriend," Hermione said gabbing Fred arm as he tried to slip pass her. - "But look at this from my point of view - how do I know this isn't a prank to make me do something foolish? How can I be absolutely sure that he- -"

"- -Loves you - more than his own life? – Bloody-hell; that's as plain as the nose on your face. We've pranked you over the past few years with a clear goal in mind. Our mild verbal taunts and slightly embarrassing jokes at your expense… beyond being enjoyable for us in it-self," Fred said with a hesitant grin, "were in actuality - - indirectly aimed at Ronniekins – because, pranking you … **pisses-off** - our youngest male sibling … your red-headed protector... more than anything else in the entire world."

"Yeah –yeah – I get that part. But if you pranked Harry … Ron would be equally- -"

"- - _**Defensive**_,?" George shouted his interruption – getting the attention of the entire common room. "… doesn't make us laugh Granger – we have pranked Potter loads of times - and Ron - did nothing … Ginny reacted - but Ron didn't and even you know she fancies Harry. Weasley's as a rule - only go all protective about things they care deeply about".

"Like we have said – _**repeatedly**_ – but you still refuse to comprehend! You're Ron's weak spot …it's been obvious to us - and everyone else in Gryffindor for years now," Fred began to explain in a equally exasperated tone. "Malfoy taunts you to get at Potter - because you're his friend, but Harry never reacts to any attacks on you …verbal or physical - - now, does-he? - - Remember the slugs- -"

"- -Ronnie, listens, respects your brilliance and rushes to protect you at the drop of a hat. What more proof beyond doubt do you need; girl? - Ronnie has it bad for you and I mean really-really … **bad**," George said finishing his twin's sentence.

"Spitted-up slugs," She said absentmindedly - almost too softly to hear.

Both boys nodded eagerly.

Hermione suddenly threw herself at the twins - hugging them both at the same time. "Then he does … why didn't I see it – maybe I was too close to him to be objective – in denial to strong to realize what was there all along. – Thanks-guys," she muttered in obvious gratitude.

Fred and George were both stunned at this sudden reversal … but eventually - hugged her back. "So does this mean you're willing to give Ronniekins a go at a *serious long-term relationship*? - George asked tentatively.

"Yes – most definitely,"

"Okay – then … but before we proceed we need to make sure that you fully recognize that our Ronnie has several; low self-worth issues - messing up his head," George said firmly.

"Part of that is 'your' doing … you-know," Hermione semi-growled, "Always belittling his achievements."

"Bit of the - **Pot** - calling the – **kettle …** black - there, isn't it? - - Emotional range of a teaspoon - wasn't it? - - and insisting that luck potion was the - _**only way**_ - his 'Goal keeping' wouldn't be rubbish" - - Fred countered sounding somewhat offended. "And didn't you once 'refer' to him saying that he was - quote; 'the most insensitive wart you had the misfortune to meet'?"

"But he's changed so much since then," Hermione said in surprised as she realized only then - -that Ron had indeed matured subtly in the last year or two. "Alright I'm guilty too – so what?"

"The point is that he's been in your and Harry's shadow for years and Ginny in November convinced him with her *tall tale* of the - _**Krum affair**_ - that you can do way better than him in a life-mate", George said pressing home his argument. "Your cold shouldn't treatment since the Brown break-up tells him you might not want him as even a friend anymore. Basically the status-quo comes down to this – his self-worth has more to do with *your option of him* than ours - and right now in his mindset – **you think** - he's lowest form of scum. Combine the demeaning attitudes you've expressed recently - with his fear of mucking-up a six year friendship - these things alone will prevent him from making any serious first moves – romantically speaking - on you? - - Remember you growled at him yesterday".

"I DID NOT GROWL AT HIM," Hermione roared loudly at the twins.

"Whatever, - he thinks you growled at him, we overheard him telling Harry - **that** - at dinner … just a few hours ago."

Hermione sighed as she struggled to regain her composure. "I've had the same hesitation on the friendship issue. I don't have more than Harry and Ron as genuine friends here, and the risk of losing… one. Has kept me from- -"

"- -Moving from friend to girlfriend," Fred interrupted

Hermione deeply embarrassed could only nod her head sadly in agreement.

"It's lucky for all concern that Hermione Jean Granger is a – 'modern liberated witch', is not the type to wait-around like some helpless damsel in distress - for your brave-knight to rescue you from becoming a *life-long* old maiden-aunt.

"You got that in one," she replied with a determined grin, "This the twentieth century not the tenth. So... would it be safe to assume that you have a plan to help me …get my man?"

"Have you had your first kiss?"

"Yeah," Hermione said slowly. "But what does- -"

"- -With whom,?" Both quickly asked simultaneously.

"Viktor; of course, weren't you listening", Hermione answered, her brow furrowing again in irritation.

"Don't repeat to us that rubbish about; 'over the clothing' petting – tell us the truth. How far did things actually go with him?"

"Fred; I've told you two - more particulars of what I 'did' with Viktor - than anyone else knows … even Harry. So further details at this point are none of your business", Hermione growled.

"**That far - eh?** …then Ginny was right about that, well - well - fancy-that. Who'd have thought it?"

"No–no, please …Ginny was dead wrong – she made-up the sex … bollocks! I was barely fifteen – for Merlin sake …please …I beg you - don't confirm Ginny's exaggerations to Ron, he'll think I'm as bad as a slag as Lavender Brown, - a girl well known for her easy virtue – Lavender is the genuine Scarlet Woman in this tragedy …not me."

"Watch your language Granger … we can't have you corrupting our innocent younger sibling' virgin-ears with your dirty-mouth", - Fred said joyfully while turning the 'teasing knife' hard into Hermione's gut. "Are you sure about not being a… 'fallen dove' … or … 'wanton-witch' … we could certainly use a Scarlet Woman … right now?"

"It's you-two that's reduced me to such a 'frazzled-state' - wherein swearing seems natural", Hermione growled again in irritation. "All Viktor and I did was a-lot of snogging – okay, I've already admitted that. I also let him touch me – you know – heavy petting and honesty – I swear … it was - **only** - on the outside of my clothing. Believe it or not - I did stop him cold, when his hands attempted – touching bare skin. I was at that time - in no way - ready for actual sex".

"And McLaggen,? The twins asked in unison their eagerness for the details clearly apparent.

"Don't make me laugh - Cormac loves himself more than any girl living. That blaggard got even less than Viktor did and he had to pull me under magical mistletoe to get a single snog. Believe me it wasn't something I did willingly," Hermione spat in an overheated and frustrated tone – her foul mood obvious to someone staring hard at her every move.

"Is he worked-up enough?" Fred casually asked his twin in a stage whisper.

"Not yet hot enough to boil – but close," George replied glancing nonchalantly over to where Ron sat, watching them intently. "I think he fears that we are about to prank his much beloved Ms. Granger and in gathering his strength to give us both a sound thrashing. What we have to do now - is turn his mind to a different type of threat."

"I fully agree," Fred said.

"What are you two up too?"- Hermione asked warily.

"You owe us both big-time for this … and don't fight-back too hard". - - The boys then reached over and pulled Hermione between them and then arm-in-arm marched her over to in front of the fireplace- where Ron sat - nearby - - brooding. His cobra like focus was on Hermione exclusively, his hands balled into fists, fully prepared to stomp both his brothers in to the ground in short-order.

Fred put on a-bit of Chap Stick on before abruptly – and without warning - pulling Hermione abruptly into his arms … kissing her deeply.

Hermione gasped, trying to take a step back but realized George was holding her arms down to keep her helpless where she stood - during Fred's snog. - Instinctively … she began to struggle to break-free. She was momentarily shocked and confused before she realized what they were actually doing was; – '_**baiting the bull'**_.

Ron's eyes went wide as he looked at his brother roughly kissing the girl he loved. He jump to his feet – in two long strides he reached Fred - feeling more furious than ever before in his life as with one powerful hand he pulled Fred off of Hermione and then with a single 'haymaker' punch … sent his older-brother flying over his now empty chair. He then pulled Hermione behind him before turning on George - whose hands instantly went-up in surrender.

"Damn it; You-lot … stay away … from - **her**," Ron snarled like an angry lion - his body in a protective fighting stance,

"Sweet Merlin, when did you get so protective …" George began genuinely amazed.

"… and so strong", Fred finished rubbing his painful jaw and looking up from the floor.

"Oh Ron," Hermione squeaked thankfully, blushing girlishly hard and a feeling a-bit flustered.

"I don't want you kissing him." Ron said firmly turning to face her.

"Why – not,?" Hermione asked softly, standing straighter and moving in dangerously close to her now fully-acknowledged protector. She had never been fought over before – and the new experience thrilled her on a primeval level.

"Because . . . you . . . you are . . . you're . . . **mine**."

"Since when,?" Hermione asked sheepishly - in a whisper, hiding a growing smile.

"Since – - **Now**,!" - He said fiercely … and pulling her to him – he kissed her hard. Hermione gasped against his mouth before whimpering in pleasure and quickly kissing him back. Ron put his hands on her hips as he kissed her more deeply. Hermione felt wave after wave of long suppressed emotion pulse off of Ron and in response moaned in pure delight, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pressed her hips - firmly - against his 'bulging' groin.

She had never felt anything this intense in her life. - Viktor's snogs paled in comparison. Years of desires and romantic hopes radiated off of Ron … as if having her in his arms was for him heaven on earth.

'_Fred and George were right – Ron's feeling for me goes way beyond mere fancy_', - She said to her-self. He clearly loved her - _**body and soul**_ - so strongly that her few remaining doubts melted in the face of such raw passion. Forgetting where she was, forgetting the entire common room was watching - - Hermione yielded to her own long restrained feelings as she kissed him back with unbridled passion.

With obvious sexual eagerness that was clear to anyone with eyes to see - she aggressively rubbed her slight-bosom against his chest and her crotch against the clearly defined bulge growing in the front of his trousers… she felt the juices in her groin heat-up …she felt her nipples harden and she smiled against his lips, delighted that just a single snog could make them both so incredibly randy.

Ron pulled back and softly repeated. "You're mine," and Hermione just nodded meekly in a stereotypical feminine surrender – feeling totally girly for the first time in her life - she was panting softly in growing lust, her lips as red as her cheeks. Ron rested his forehead against hers. "I have wanted to kiss you for so long… you know?"

Hermione smiled as she caught her breath. "Me, too," she whispered.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Ron spat before his courage left him.

Hermione smiled brightly and nodded quickly. Ron smiled as he stroked her cheek softly. "You have very pretty eyes." He had wanted to say that for years too.

Hermione laughed lightly, leaning into his hand. "Thanks," she said. She then saw the twins leaving from the corner of her eye. "Stay right here - while I straighten out Fred and George for that prank kiss … I'll be right back." She said quickly, hurrying over to them and to Ron's great surprise hugging each of them in turn tightly. A largely confused Ron grunted in a sour semi-jealous tone - as he waited obediently for her to return.

"Thanks, you two," Hermione said, kissing each of their cheeks.

Fred and George chuckled. "Anything for our future sister-in-law"

"There will be a gift-box on your bed upstairs …in about a half-hour," George then declared in a genuinely soft whisper

"We hope we got the sizes right," Fred added

"You might not feel all that comfortable wearing that stuff," George again whispered.

"But don't worry … seeing the way Ron has looked at you all these years - our bet is you won't have it on for-long," Fred finished over his shoulder as the twins walked away. Hermione rolled her eyes in fake annoyance … before going back to Ron, slipping into his arms and kissing him again.

After a brief and intense snog - Ron nibbled at her lower lip lightly and said. "Can we go somewhere private?"

Hermione blushed as she nodded. She kissed his cheek softly before taking his hand and pulling him out of the common room - Leaving behind a gob-smacked …stunned silent Gryffindor lounge full of people - who had been lucky enough for front row seats on a long awaited event – a romantic miracle. The moment Ron and Hermione walked out and the portrait door closed behind them - a roar of celebration erupted in the common room that slightly surpassed the noise of winning of the house cup.

Ron and Hermione were together as a couple at long last. When Harry returned to the common-room after detention and learned the news - a smile appeared on his face that nothing could diminish for days to come.

oooooo

Meanwhile the new couple made it to the edge of the lake without talking. It was still early evening so it wasn't full dark yet … and unusually warm for that time of year ... at least warm-enough for them to forego winter robes. Ron smiled like an idiot as they walked, happier than on any other day of his life – the tiny-hand of his new girlfriend that he held somehow made today of all days - _**absobloodylutely**_ - perfect.

"The twins told me something a-while ago," Hermione started slowly.

"What?" Ron blushed.

"Um... That... that you... love me," Hermione whispered, looking their interlocked hands, while biting her lower lip nervously.

Ron chuckled softly. "Of course I do."

"Of course,?" Hermione raised her eyebrow questioning his casual tone.

"What bloke couldn't help but love you, you're beyond brilliant, more beautiful than Venus and drop dead sexy. You've been the best friend of a clueless Weasley for six years and I could love you forever - just on that point alone. And then - somewhere along the way, what I felt for you grew into the - '_**grow old with me**_' - kind of love." He blushed.

"So you are in love with me?" Hermione asked bluntly, taking a page out of his book.

"Yes – most definitely," Ron said with unshakable resolve.

"Good," Hermione smiled, leaning up to kiss him tenderly.

"I'd understand if you're not ready to return fully what I feel for you – one emotional baby-step at a time is fine with me? - - I don't want you feel in any way pressured to say or do anything you're not ready for," Ron explained in a rush as he held his breath scared of rejection.

Hermione nodded in regret as she apologetically smiled. "I came to realize only today that I've been sending you the wrong messages concerning my attraction to you. For the longest time I've been more argumentative than flirtatious. I've been far too subtle about expressing my feminine side, all out of the fear of not being taken seriously".

"I always take what you say seriously," Ron said sounding offended.

"I know you do … luv," Hermione said with a warm smile at calling a boy luv for the first time, "and I haven't been as demonstratively grateful for you unwavering support as I should be. But that is about to change – I swear!"

"So in the name of absolute honesty - I'm sorry to say this, Ronald Bilius Weasley - - but the truth is - I don't fancy you," She said and saw the joy drain from his face. "Truth is the word Fancy is grossly inadequate - I passed the 'fancy' stage in my feelings for you – several years ago – instead I am head over heels- in love - with you – the same -_** grow old with me kind of love**_ - as you have just confessed to me… if not more," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning against his chest.

Ron held her tightly for a moment as he nuzzled her neck. "I'd hoped and dreamed that someday - you and I would be together."

"I think we're both on the same page in that hope," Hermione whispered back, her cheek against his chest, taking a breath. She loved how well they meshed so soon. Ron kissed her again and again putting more and more of his soul in to each kiss - - and at the very moment when he was about to surrender to his arousal … his hands began to wander, totally independent of his mind.

Abruptly all color drained from Ron's face as he suddenly realized that both of his hands were now gently caressing Hermione's rump… _**underneath**_ - her uniform skirt. Horrified at what he'd unconsciously done and fearing he had crossed the line – big time. Ron took a huge step away from Hermione. He was panting hard - as if he had just run a one hundred meters sprint – his equally aroused and ashamed ears had turned bright red … and in a tone of intense indescribable embarrassment he then mumbled:

"I'm sorry terribly–terribly sorry," and without another word he turned about and legged it 'Full-out' into the lake in all his clothing still on.

"What are you doing?" Hermione squealed, feeling a-bit confused and sexually quite frustrated.

"Cooling off," He laughed semi-hysterically - as he kept him-self afloat in the ice cold water of late-February.

"Why?" Hermione pushed away from his chest.

"Didn't want to embarrass you… I'm a randy Git when it comes to you and I didn't want to frighten you … if you felt- -"

"- -What? - Your massive boner? - The man-meat that has made a tent out of your trousers? - - Honestly Ron I felt your hard-on while we were kissing in the common-room. It's not the first time I felt a John-Thomas pressing up against me … for heaven's sake." The words had barely left her lips before Hermione regretted uttering them, the embarrassed-look on his face instantly transformed into rapid 'nose-dive' depression as she reminded him of … '_OH SHITE – SHITE – SHITE__**'**_ she said to herself. "_**Insecurities issues**_"

Abruptly Ron came out of the water, shivering badly. "I think we should head back before I catch my death." He said as he kissed her lightly on the cheek. "That he had deliberately missed her mouth did-not go unnoticed in the middle of this crisis.

Hermione didn't know for sure if the cold-water had put-out Ron's overheated randiness or if her indirect mention of the 'Krum Affair' and the implication of what she might have – 'done the deed' with him 'sexually' …had ruined an otherwise perfect moment. Either way; her slip off the tongue, had seriously - set-back - their budding relationship - for all the way back to the common room …they walked in total awkward silence, as she frantically tried to think of a way to make amends

As they went through the portrait-hole, Hermione said nervously: "Ron I need to tell you about Viktor… "

"No you don't," Ron retorted sternly …instantly turning to face her while interrupting. "Of course you … I mean … it only makes sense… really".

"I wasn't even fourteen yet –a mere child with barely enough maturity to fill a teaspoon … and-and … he was a tall, handsome, nineteen year old international Quidditch star", Ron said in a near whisper … stuttering a-bit. "Girls at Hogwarts swooned at the mere sight of him. You're way too brilliant to fall pregnant, so I at least have the comfort of knowing that your - first time - was with a man experienced enough to make it… enjoyable …for you. "

"Ronald Bilius Weasley stop right there," a furious and flabbergasted Hermione shouted. "WHO TOLD YOU SUCH AN OUTRAGEOUS - - **LIE**?

"Year after year - of the he's - _**only a friend**_ - crap that you've fed Harry and me, what was I supposed to think - - -. Look; I'm just too dimwitted a bloke to figure out - what is and is not the unblemished truth about you and him?" Ron said with a sad and surprising calm. He didn't shout … he wasn't angry - instead he sounded resigned … defeated.

"Makes me wonder about the Cormac reluctant snog under the mistletoe - **tale** - you told us," Ron continued in a lifeless tone. "Perhaps I'll run into Cormac at a pub one day and I'll hear an alternative version of the Slughorn party - from your date instead of my sister - the bit's you neglected to tell either Harry or me. Because I'm still not 'mature enough' to handle the details of the snogs you shared with Mclaggen - back in the stacks in the darkest corner of the library. **No** – hold-on - the library was closed on the night of the party - so was it a passionate 'broom-cupboard' tryst … that time?"

"You've believed that I have been lying to you … since fourth year… and said nothing?" Hermione asked horrified at the thought.

"Yeah – but so what,? I had no claim on you, so what right did I have to say anything? I was just your immature and childish school-friend," Ron retorted apologetically … putting extra sympathies on the word - **friend**. - "Of course you … I mean … Krum and you together - made perfect sense… really. Birds are always more mature than blokes and Krum was a real - **man** - and I – just a boy-child barely into puberty - with not enough maturity to fill a ruddy teaspoon - - you said that about me- remember?" he repeated back to her a second time – as if that single phrase haunted him – dragging down into the mud his self-image. It was obvious to Hermione that Ron was still hurting form that particular off the cuff insult.

"And there I stood in my 'hand-me-down … out of date robes - pathetically trying to compete with a tall, handsome, nineteen-year-old, uber-rich… **MAN** – and an international Quidditch star to boot? What was I bloody-thinking – I never had a chance back then - story of my life really, - Witches everywhere of all ages swooned at the mere sight of him – tis the same thing with Harry – nobody sees me?"

"Ron I don't know how to respond to that."

"You don't have too. You can't change the past and neither can I. Krum was your first love and he'll always hold a special place in your heart", Ron bemoaned.

"Like Lavender was for you," Hermione suggested weakly – now knowing it to be – yet another lie she'd told.

"She was never my first love… but who it was - doesn't matter anymore. Just like how I really felt about Ms. Brown – is irrelevant - for that romantic disaster - like your romance with Krum is hopefully - - behind us both." Ron semi-pleaded in a tone of resigned acceptance - trying hard to spin his hurt feelings in a positive way… the brutal fact that he wasn't Hermione's first lover was killing him inside and always would. His attempt to lighten his growing depression turned-out to be yet another of his many failures – Ron then turned and dragged his worthless carcass toward the boy's dorm stairs … with Hermione following a pace or two behind him.

"So… Ron … about Viktor," Hermione persisted, following him up the steps. "The twins told me that it was Ginny that clued you in on- -"

"- -Your Bulgarian lover … Oh yeah, - way too 'gullible and naive', that's always been my biggest problem … I consistent if nothing else – eh,? - Not much has changed for the far-too trusting dupe of sixth year - and his thirteen year-old virgin …younger version. When the smartest witch of our age… two years ago - told me that nothing was going between you and Krum … I believed it totally".

"Then exactly when did you find out – - the truth?"

"Earlier this term actually, - like you said - my little sister clued me in. No secrets at Hogwarts remember? - Harry and I caught Dean and Ginny having 'foreplay' in a secret passageway – when I - _**objected**_ - to the idea of my clothing rumpled sister - having unprotected sex against a damp castle wall - She lit into me something fierce - called me stupid and pathetic, the only one in my year that was destined to graduate Hogwarts a un-kissed virgin".

"She said that you would never fancy me and she was spot-on … all along - about my total lack of attractiveness to girls. - - That no half-decent looking girl here would want anything to do with me – especially… bookworms… and to prove her point - Ginny then related the fascinatingly… **true** **account** - of Hermione and Viktor romance – a tale of stolen kisses and trophy knickers".

"_Trophy Knickers_?" - She asked herself in puzzled tone - and when a moment later - she put the pieces together, she blushed and scowled at the same time, - '_**Dam your hurtful lies, Ginny Weasley**_' - she thought.

"I later confirmed much of Ginny's story with a couple of voyeuristic ghosts and several peeping-tom paintings." Ron said in an unusual calm, almost a matter of fact tone - his face turning a sickly green - as if fighting the urge to throw-up. "Apparently - there isn't much around here to entertain a ghost - so they watch students romance with intense fascination".

"And on the same night that Ginny told you of my lies …you took up with Lavender?" Hermione said.

"After confirming what she'd told me - Yeah," Ron said in a soft, broken-hearted …weak-whisper, "Harry had his own issues with what Ginny was doing and so we parted company. I walked into the party thinking you didn't want me - and Lavender clearly did, it was just that simple. Ruddy disaster that turned out to be – too! I finally got a girl to fancy me - but I didn't enjoy my first official girlfriend it all that much".

"Why not?" Hermione asked in a near whisper.

"My fling with her was - **All** - a horrible- **Lie**, - wasn't it? - - I was using her, - she fancied me loads and I didn't feel a thing for her. She deserved a better boyfriend than me and the only way a loser like me could make amends was to set her free - which I did - right after Christmas break. She got a new bloke to replace me within the hour - - so she didn't suffer … **at-all** … from being dumped - she bounced back unusually quickly – actually - besides … I felt like I was cheating on- -"

"On who Ron,? Hermione asked eagerly although she suspected the he was thinking of her.

"Doesn't matter - not anymore... does it? We both have been with other people. Obsessing on the past mistakes on my part - won't help me now, it's better for me to try to focus on the future and my sincere desire to not muck-this-up … between us.

"You've grown-up Ron,"

"Don't spread that around, you'll ruin my hard-won; 'childish behavior' - reputation," Ron said weakly attempting again at a joke. By this point they had reached the sixth year boys dorm and Ron still shivering from the cold - went over to his school trunk …opened it and pulled out a worn-thin bath-towel, his best pair of Chudley Cannons pajama bottoms and an often-patched … hand-me down ... over-sized bath-robe.

"I'll see you tomorrow …won't I?" Ron asked with uncertainty

Hermione could see the fear in his eyes along with unshed tears …the worry that this entire night and her becoming his girlfriend had been nothing more than a dream … that it would all fade back into a fantasy when he woke up.

"Of course you will, you're my boyfriend now", Hermione said trying her hardest to sound reassuring.

"If you change your mind about-us … in the morning … I'll understand," Ron said almost letting his tears flow. "Lavender and I never did - **it**… so I'm still a- - "

"- - It's hard to believe that you and big boobied Brown didn't …" Hermione quickly interrupted to stop Ron's sentence - genuinely surprised and momentarily forgetting what Ron had already confessed to her.

"I'm telling the truth Hermione, I'm not clever-enough to 'lie' long term and get away with it," Ron said indirectly bring-up again Hermione's months of non-stop deception - venting a little of the hurt he felt. "It was like I already told you – I couldn't manage to get hard … I wasn't - **man** - enough … isn't that pathetic." Ron said admitting yet another reason for her to dump him.

"But you had no trouble when you touched me?"

"I don't need to touch you for that to happen, I've gotten a woody every time you bent over to pick-up a book since fifth year". Ron admitted this without thinking and then realizing what he'd said a moment later - his ears turned bright red in embarrassment – yet again. "Now if you'll excuse me - - I need a long hot soak - Good-night," he said and after another hesitant … peck on her cheek - with the slumped shoulders of utter defeat - Ron quietly shuffled out of the dorm-room - his upbeat altitude from their first kiss - totally drained out of him.

"Hermione sat down on Ron's empty bed, feeling totally baffled. Fred and George had tricked Ron into expressing verbally how he felt … about her. He'd even snogged her and frankly it had been her best snog ever. He loved her on a level she hadn't believed possible … so why was she sitting here feeling like she had broken his heart.

'_Okay you got him …now what_?' She asked herself… and then suddenly she remembered.

_**"Question # 3 - What to do with him once you have him."**_

_**"Answer for question # 3 -Snog, shag, touch, lick and suck." Both twins had said grinning like idiots.**_

"I have one to add to your List boys," Hermione said thinking out loud as she ran to her own dorm room and the gift box on her bed. "How do I cure Ron's self-worth issues and foolish jealousies? See the answer to question three.

OoOoOoOo

One of the mysteries of Hogwarts as found in - _**Hogwarts a History**_ - was how – one - Prefect Bath could possibly serve the twenty four Prefects spread-out among the four great houses. The same solution worked equally well for the - _**room of requirement**_. Both had a single entry location while also containing multiple numbers of baths - for numerous possible users. As there were six Prefects per House …times four great houses; throw in the head boy and girl just to be safe - - and that left a maximum of twenty-six baths in use at any given time. As Ron spoke of a soak rather than a hot shower, Hermione correctly concluded that Ron was going to soak in a Prefect bath.

And so it came to be that a mere ten minutes later… Hermione Jean Granger wearing her thick terry bathrobe and carrying a large bath-towel … semi-**ran** … up to the portrait hole guarding the entrance to the Prefect Bathroom. The portrait of a wizard and witch shoulder deep in a Roman empire style public-bath … both looking in great surprise at the out of breath sixth-year Gryffindor prefect … a young woman who had never before gone in for the self-indulgent girlish pleasure of a bubble bath. As there were no secrets at Hogwarts the portrait-hole knew full well the low option of this prefect had for the prefect-bath.

With a scow matched by her male companion, the woman asked, "Password?"

"Clean at last" Hermione replied correctly. And the door then opened on an empty-room containing one extra-large, Roman style …small swimming-pool sized bath.

"Hold-on", Hermione said feeling put upon, "this bath is empty?"

"Yes. That's right."

"Well I supposed to meet someone here."

"Is this someone male of female?"

"And how is that your business?" Hermione replied embarrassed.

"We have three groups of girls within - composed of two to six persons each. They are currently discussing boys … makeup and fashion.

"I'm not here for girl talk", Hermione snorted.

"Then is the purpose of this meeting a - **tryst** - of two consenting adults according to Wizarding law?"

"Isn't sex against the rules at Hogwarts?"

"For most underage students; any-where else, but here… that is correct".

"What if only one of the people involved is under-age?"

"Sixteen is the age of consent, but that only applies to the males. Female participants must be - **of full age** … according to Wizarding law to engage in sexual activity within the boundaries of the prefect-bath".

"I am of age".

"Your date of birth,?"

"September 19, 1979"

"And the age of the person you are to meet?"

"Sixteen, he was born on the first of March, 1980"

"Six month separation in birth dates is easily within our acceptable age difference limits, now without using names which must be reported to the headmaster … please describe this person".

"Gryffindor … with red hair,"

"Of the eighteen individuals within, two match that description."

"Two?" - - Hermione replied sounding confused.

"Yes we have a bi-racial couple currently having a heated argument in bath four - and …"

"…That girl is only fifteen;" Hermione interrupted - knowing full well that the portrait was referring to Ginny … who was underage.

"There is no rule against underage students of different genders SHARING a bath; as long as one of them is a registered prefect and no prohibited activity is attempted".

"What kind of argument."

"From our centuries of experience all signs indicate a break-up row."

"And the other Gryffindor Prefect with red Hair,? - - Hermione asked … ignoring for the time being the great importance of a Ginny breaking-up with Dean and the effect it would have on a lovesick Harry. '_I must tell him of this later'_ – she said to her-self.

"Are you sure this young man is expecting you, he seems greatly depressed? Are you here to break-up with him too?"

"No, quite the opposite in fact, I'm here to cheer him up." Hermione said

"How? - - you aren't dressed to seduce and don't have much of a figure from what I can tell".

"I don't have to answer that," Hermione growled in anger.

"And we aren't _**required**_ to let you share his bath,"

"Alright-alright," Hermione retorted angrily, as she untied and pulled open her bath robe.

"Let her in Marcus, her equipment is admittedly small," the female portrait said fighting to restrain her amusement. "But even you must concede that it's nicely packaged.

OoOoOoOo

The door swung open on a semi-dark steam filled room lite with only a half-dozen candles. Fearing she'd been tricked …Hermione drew her wand and whispered luminous. A flood-light beam shot out of the end of her wand. The light however - did not cut through the steam as much as it announced here presence.

"Oi …this bath is already occupied; mate, - go find another one".

"Ron?"

"Hermione, what are you doing here, do you think I lied to you? I'm not the one that does that sort of thing," Ron spat his bitterness as thick as the steam. "I'm taking a hot soak for crying-out-loud, just like I said I was going to do".

"We need to talk; I know you're up-set with me and- -" she began.

"- -Didn't you hear me, woman …I'm bloody NAKED, in a ruddy bath", Ron interrupted hotly. "You're in the same room as a naked man; think of the rules you are breaking Miss Prefect … think of the trouble you'll get in if McGonagall finds you in here with a lowly Weasley. You have to leave … and I mean … **now**!"

"Ronald Bilius … calm your-self this instant!" Hermione ordered sternly.

"No comment on the rule-breaking?" Ron said a little more calmly as he franticly looked about for a towel only to discover the neat pile of fresh towels the room had automatically provided being magically summoned along with his robe – pajama bottom – worn towel and still soaking wet clothing by the outline of a barely visible Hermione.

"I've given up on following the rules, especially when the issue is truly important," Hermione sighed as she levitated - dried and then neatly folded into a pile - his hand-me-down… and patched in spots … bedtime clothing. "The three of us have broken enough rules over the years to get us kicked out fifty times."

"But that's mostly Harry's doing - not yours. And if he was here instead of me, soaking in this tub …you'd most like get another - _**Chosen One **_- out of trouble… Scott-free card …from Dumbledore - as usual. I don't rate the slack he gets around here and neither do you".

"You speak more truth than you know", she replied knowingly.

"The point is - Harry isn't here to excuse this and your dream of becoming *Head-Girl* is at great risk by being here with someone as unimportant like me. You're so close to getting it - just four more months. It be a shame to lose all you worked for … just to chat-up a second rate boyfriend in the Prefect bathroom".

"You're always worried about me ahead of yourself … aren't you?" She said smiling warmly at him. "And who says that I have a second rate boyfriend,?"

"And you always put Harry ahead of yourself … or me", Ron retorted with his voice dropping to a weak-mumble over the last two words. "But you know what I mean, Hermione Jean, I'm not worth the risk of losing your place on the short-list for the head-girl badge", he said more loudly.

"Maybe, being Head-girl is no longer a big priority with me."

Ron picked-up his wand and pointed it. "Who are you and what have you done with real Hermione Granger?" - he joked.

"She's been corrupted - having spent far too much time in the company of the Weasley twins," Hermione sighed.

"The twins did it all by them-selves – eh? - So I've had no effect on you at all?"

"Different Weasley - different form of corruption," Hermione snorted with a sensually wicked grin.

"You lost me?"

"The twins and to an equal extent Harry – over the years - have made me less ridged about authority figures and following the rules in general. Ginny regretfully - also shares the Weasley prankster sprite… an attitude you don't have… thankfully."

"So you find me boring, eh?"

"Never," She retorted sharply. "You have a sharp wit and a cutting sense of Humor which does not require pranks at someone else expense to generate a laugh. I honestly couldn't tell a joke to save my soul and Harry is not much better."

"So I'm comic relief to you both?"

"Oh sweet Merlin, **YES** …and with Harrys mood swings turnabouts at the drop of a hat, your sense of humor over the years has been a God send in keeping us all sane."

"You said my jokes weren't funny."

"No my-Luv, what I said was… not - **all** - of your jokes are funny and some of your puns are actually rather horrible, but even your bad jokes can break Harry out of one of his bad funks. I don't think you should consider a career as a professional stand-up comic … but I wouldn't change your sense of humor for all the gold in Gringotts."

"You didn't care for my fooling about when you thought I should be revisiting."

"And you think I'm too damn serious," Hermione said pretending to glare down at him,

"Only when taken to extremes, you really need to let your hair down and have some fun sometimes."

"What if I'm just not fun to be around, Ron?" she asked cocking an eyebrow in a questioning fashion.

"**Bollocks**, - you can be loads of fun, you're clever, pretty beyond words and on the right subject - I can sit and listen to you ramble-on for hours on end," Ron said with an expression of such love and devotion on his face - that Hermione felt truly humbled by it. '_Why haven't I noticed this before tonight'?_"

"You're the only one who thinks that of me," she finally replied looking down at her feet.

"That's not true Hermione …Krum saw you that way, even before I did." Ron replied meekly as if admitting a painful truth.

"Yes – about Viktor – the truth is" - - Hermione began feeling very uncomfortable. "I developed a strong … 'school-girl crush' … on him between his arrival at Hogwarts in October and the Yule Ball. Viktor first found me sitting alone in the library revisiting - and we struck-up a conversation. He came back to the library day after day – just to see me. He called me attractive … held my hand and at fifteen - - I was deeply flattered … I freely admit that. He was my first kiss… my first in many things."

"Yes …I know,"

"No Ron …you don't. You think I've had sex with him, but that's not true."

"But Ginny and the ghosts all said- -" Ron began sadly.

"- -Ginny wasn't there during everything - and I was," Hermione snarled semi-furiously interrupting Ron mid-sentence. "We snogged in the library and visited a few broom cupboards – both before and after the Ball. I let him touch-me outside of my clothing …but nothing else! Do you hear me, NOTHING ELSE …and that's the truth".

"Okay, if you insist," Ron replied meekly – "But …I have never questioned your right to be with whomever you want. My dad taught me to treat women as free spirits and not as something to be broken to the saddle".

"Damn right, I will act subservient to no one," Hermione growled.

"Believe it or not - - I understand your feminist side better than you might realize," Ron said with an ironic smile. "But on the other hand - what you need to understand… is that right-now, - I'm the one that's having trouble coping … I don't want to change you - to me … you're prefect just the way you are.

"Ron I'm nowhere near prefect, I have many flaws."

"Which are minor compared to mine," Ron replied. "I'm the one that has to change my cave man mind-set - not only with what happened two years ago – but your choice of … male companions since then. Tonight at the lake I behaved badly, I've got to – **not** - act like an immature git - every time his name is mentioned. He - *got there first* - and moaning about it changes nothing."

"Where is all this coming from?" Hermione asked genuinely gob-smacked by what was coming out of Ron's mouth.

"My dad mostly – I had a long talk with him during the Christmas-Hol," Ron admitted. "He pointed-out how badly I mucked-up with you in the last few years - and told me that I never get a girl to fancy me until I grew-up a-bit and got my jealous anger under control. He'd talked to Ginny about what she'd said to me and after thinking it-over - rather-frankly … told me to move on".

"Move on – as in give-up on being with me?"

"Well - -Yeah … what happened tonight … caught me unprepared – it was unexpected to say the least. I still can't believe it actually happened, I got to kiss you – on the mouth - - you agreed to be my girlfriend – it's a dream come true for me".

"It was for me too, but you didn't give up on me like your dad said - why?"

"Dad told me that I couldn't force you to love me and he was spot-on about that. But accepting that truth … that you didn't fancy even me half as much as you most-likely do Harry - didn't change how I felt about you. Part of me never stopped hoping that one day you'd give a second glance at Harry's pathetic sidekick.

"More than a second glance, Ron"

"Dad told me that most girls are attracted to a particular type of bloke and I clearly wasn't that type… for you. He said that Krum and Mclaggen were both… over-confidant, self-promoters… two attributes I lack. - - Although Harry isn't a self-promoter … he is rich and a seeker like Krum and even my dad saw how you always put Harry's needs ahead of mine …which is to be expected of course …as he has so much in common … type-wise … with Krum. After pointing out to me how much you favor Quidditch Seekers … Dad told me straight … that the best I could hope from a bird that *preferred the Krum type* … was big brother like friendship".

"I thought your dad …liked me".

"Oh he does, it's just that he and Mum have never seen you - 'waste' - any time flirting with me", Ron said with painfully open candor. "You've spent most of the previous Holidays at the - _**Burrow**_ - hanging on Harry's every word. You always sat next to him at meals - and following him about everywhere he went".

"At one time; - my Mum thought of you as a celebrity-groupie and full-bore - *Potter starker*," - Ron admitted sadly. "Your focus has always been on Harry - with me just too dimwitted to notice - until of course … my dad pointed it out to me forcefully last Christmas-hol. Dad even predicted you'd be *engaged to Harry* before Graduation next year."

"Well he was wrong about that, EVERYONE was wrong about my **TYPE**! - - I fancy red-heads goal keepers and have for ages".

"Rita Skeeter will be shocked and disappointed to say the least. But the reaction of Wizarding England to you not being with Potter isn't one of the two biggest stunners that I'm having trouble coping with at the moment," Ron said with a small-smile. "That you fancy me all of a sudden – out of nowhere – feels strongly like a 'Fred and George' clever-prank to me. – Especially in light of the rumored - '**trophy'** - you gifted …Krum?"

"Right-then … moving-on", Hermione interrupted, her frustration anger flaring again - "and concerning - what Ginny has said about what Viktor *allegedly* - **got** - from me. I want to make myself perfectly clear. Yet-again … unless your sister followed me during the summer-hol in-between fourth and fifth year - - there is no way she or anyone else knows what I did - *or* - where I went. Ginny didn't see me until August - so how would she know where I spent July?"

"Apparently … everyone at Hogwarts and Wizarding Britain thinks - the worst - of me. Some people just assume - without - proof ... that I'm going to end-up with Harry. - - Other's believe that I've spread some 'wild-oats' while acted as Viktor's personal - whore – during a holiday in Bulgaria. - - At the same time still-others … and this group includes your twin brothers … think I'm a flat-chested asexual prude. But they can't have it both ways … I can't be a - **slag** - and a - **prig** - at the same time".

"I never called you … never even hinted at …who has called you a … I'll kill them," Ron roared

"Ronald Bilus, calm your-self this instant," Hermione ordered sternly. "People love to gossip and there is no controlling what is said. I was just pointing-out the ridicules contradiction in what the rumor-mill at Hogwarts *sinks to* from time to time. The truth of the matter is that - - I have yet to surrender a pair of my knickers… _**or their contents**_ - to any bloke as a 'sexual conquest' trophy… at least not - **yet**!

She said this firmly in a vexed pose that Ron quickly recognized as her most serious one. She had both hands on her hips – tapping her right foot and giving him her famous no-nonsense looks. "So that story of Viktor getting my Knickers as a bragging rights trophy - after sex with - **me** - is pure rubbish. Did Ginny or any ghost …tell you - **specifically** - that they saw me have any kind of sex with Viktor?"

"Well no- -"

"- - Then why do you believe that I would- -"

"- - Why shouldn't I …you were so beautiful the night of the Yule ball, - you're so wonderful in general, how could any man *resist* the urge to try to make-love to you. I've dreamed of you lying next to me in bed - - for year's on-end. - I've imagined you standing before me naked; loving me as a woman in love should …it's been my favorite fantasy for the longest time. Krum's a man like any other – so he must have desire you sexually back-then … and still does most likely - - if he writes love letters to you every other day".

"_How can I stay mad at him when he says things like this?_" Hermione asked herself. "_The lovely git thinks I'm irresistible to all men – he thinks I'm beyond beautiful_."

"They aren't love letters, Ron - or – rather; it would be more honest to say … they haven't been for a very long time", Hermione said in a resigned tone. "I'm truly sorry I wasn't more upfront about my relationship with him, however briefly it lasted. - Thinking back I believe that at the time - I was afraid of your reaction to Viktor and me dating. And once I lied about it - I became its prisoner - with no way to escape my lie without hurting your feelings. You also suffer greatly …from an incorrect impression to my attractiveness to men".

"You are beautiful - and sexy - so damn sexy – I can hardly resist …sometimes - from ripping off your- -" Ron began and then realizing what he was saying shut his-gob abruptly … embarrassed and deeply ashamed of his lust.

"You see me differently than any other boy – Ron", Hermione said in semi-amazed daze … at being so strongly - sexually desired.

"I've fancied you in one way or another since third year, I think; I was just too dumb to realize what it was," Ron said in semi-awe. "It was seeing you at the Yule-Ball that made me realized that what I felt was …love".

"Even Viktor thought of me as overly boyish in figure – and truthfully …at fifteen I was more boy than girl … cleavage wise," Hermione admitted with a blush. I didn't have half the volume of Bobbies as I do now – and what I have now - isn't all that impressive".

"I'm not in love with two globes of fatty tissue. - I'm in love with YOU. Beauty fades – breasts sag. Lavender had huge teats …but that didn't make her a better person – someone I could admire and Love for the rest of my life – like I do with you!"

Hermione was once again stunned beyond words, _'Ronald Bilus was beyond adorable – he loves me for me – not the curves of my body – oh sweet mercy – this boy is a keeper – totally priceless!'_ - She said to herself. It took a moment before she could speak again, '_and to think – he's mine now'_.

"Viktor and I are still friends - two years later - mainly because Viktor shares my inability to generate genuine friends. He has fair-weather groupies and hanger-on's like any other celebrity - - but no true friends."

"You have friends – Harry, me, Neville and Ginny …and then there is- -" but then Ron's protesting voice faded as he failed to think of a pack of female friends that most girls surrounded them-selves with. An awkward silence followed - until Ron broke it with a radical change of subject.

"Hermione – be brutally Honest we me … why didn't you ever *hook-up romantically* with Harry,?" Ron spat-out before he realized what he had asked. "My dad was right – you do hang on his every word at the - _**Burrow**_ – and here too – you always by-passed me …to go directly to his side … the moment you see him. Competing with a Bulgarian Quidditch star is hard enough for an average bloke like me – taking on the 'Chosen-One' over any bird is ruddy impossible".

"You should fancy him, not me – you should be his girlfriend – not mine … everyone thinks you'll end-up his girl … even Ginny thought that way … for a-bit and that's why - I think - she took up with Dean. - - In her mind the Potter ship had sailed – first to the -** Cho** - port of call - - and then to yours. The twins... they told me … the exact same thing just last week and I- -" Again his voice faded as he began to doubt himself afresh.

"Ron – my luv, please listen to me" Hermione pleaded. "I'm in love with you and that you doubt that - even now - only proves that I spent too much time helping Harry and not enough - **flirting** - with you. Had I made my attraction to you clearer, sooner – what Ginny told you about me might not have been so devastating. Better-yet … the Lavender disaster might not have ever happen. – My lies about Viktor drove you into her arms – I see that now".

"You're not to blame for my Lavender mistake – I went into that with both eyes open".

"No - it was my fault, and I've just learned this evening - that **all** of your siblings have used your feelings for me - as the perfect tool to hurt you," Hermione said apologetically. "You've been the favorite - '_**whipping boy**_' - for your older brothers and sister for far too long – always the butt of their jokes. By fancying me - you've made yourself an easier target for them and coming to Hogwarts you've literally gone from under the shadow of your older sibling's fame to under Harry's".

"I don't mind being the sidekick clown … to you and Harry."

"You are not Harry's only sidekick, I'm one too," Hermione countered.

"**NEVER**, you are too - bloody-brilliant - to be a sidekick to anyone –**damn it**!" Ron shouted offended on her behalf. "Rita Skeeter tried to make you two into a couple in the newspaper because to her and almost everyone else - you and Harry are to Wizarding Britain … equally … the ultimate hero and heroine of this ruddy civil-war… if we win – that is".

"So that *incorrect observation* made by a blithering idiot - naturally added-up into make Harry and me as 'more than just friends' – in your mind and everyone else at Hogwarts?"

"That is the general consensus – and don't act surprise … your too smart not to know-it," Ron replied in self-effacing candor. "The Wizarding media is in lock-step with the Hogwarts rumor-mill and even my family last Christmas piled-on to the 'commonly held perception' of your lack of any interest in me – beyond sisterly affection ... translated into a deep fancy for Harry."

"Would you feel even jealous if I admitted that in a way … everyone in magical England is right – Harry and I are more than just best-friends, he is – I imagine - closest to a brother figure as I'll ever get. My mum use to get all-upset when I adopted the local strays back home - - both cats and dogs. She said I had a highly repressed maternal instinct that was too harsh for normal humans. I don't get along with people all that well".

"That's not - **TRUE**", - Ron snarled again … automatically going to her defense, but then - looking-up to Hermione clear disbelief - - he modified his answer too. "All right –all-right, so most people here think you're a-bit arrogant, - but if they took the time to look beyond your abrasive know-it-all mannerism- -"

"- -Harry thinks I'm too arrogant as well - and very bossy, he's told me so several times", Hermione pointed-out calmly - interrupting Ron mid-sentence.

"Harry, well he's a special case – isn't he?" Ron retorted suddenly becoming thoughtful. "You might be a pain in his arse – now and then, - but even the Chosen One realizes how lost he'd be without his "Little-mother."

"Harry calls me; "_**little-mother?**_"

"It's just a nickname; Hermione, - for crying-out-loud," Ron was quick to explain. "Harry going to kill me for letting his nickname for you slip-out… and he only uses that moniker when you've stepped on his final nerve - one time too many."

"Which I do quite often, apparently – unintentionally of course," Hermione admitted easily, - "but never the less - you always seem smooth things over between us– every single time. And don't think for one moment that I hadn't noticed that."

"Blessed are the peacemakers – and so forth - but, that isn't a marketable skill."

"You'd be surprised. By-the-way …how often do you think Harry tunes me-out when I'm speaking?" she asked – "Be honest Ron."

"All blokes' tune-out long winded birds, - Lord knows - I did with Lavenders senseless babble about make-up and the latest fashion." Ron admitted with a self-conscious blush.

"How often have you tuned me out?"

"I've done it more often than you've realized," Ron said …but Hermione could see that her new boyfriend felt deeply ashamed for doing it. '_Harry feels no shame or embarrassment about ignoring me and Ron does. Yes, that settles it – Ron is the boy for me.' _ She said to her-self as she smiled down at her naked …man - - '_oh yum'_!

"How often has Harry openly argued with me, Ron - - not silently disagreed or - **ignored** - my option - but actually argued with me in an attempt to change my mind?" - Hermione asked trying to make an important point. Ron looked-up at Hermione utterly gob-smacked - his face undergoing a series of contortions as he tried in vain - to recall a single instance where Harry and Hermione had an important - _**option changing**_ – row … where Hermione had won by logic rather than his usual-reluctant …brow-beaten surrender - - regretfully in the end - Ron came-up empty.

"How often have you changed my mind Ron, while speaking for yourself - or on Harry's behalf?

"Once or twice during six years – maybe,?" Ron said sheepishly.

"Rubbish, Ron – you've won loads of arguments with me, and you've made some of our adventures with Harry a-lot safer in the process. You at least spend the time to pick holes in my not-so grandee-plans - - whereas Harry just gives-in to his nagging - '_**little mother**_' - more to shut me-up… than because he thinks I'm right. Harry and I would make a terrible couple Ron - Rita was so wrong about that – it's scary."

"In fact in all of my six years here I've found exactly three boys romantically attractive to me - as Viktor was during fourth year," Hermione said instantly regretting mentioning Viktor again - for Ron seem to physically diminish at the mentioning of his name. However – this time she wasn't rendered speechless and she brazened he way out of her second slip-of-the-tongue.

"During the last two terms I've toyed with the notion that - Roger Davies and Eddie Carmichael were both – somewhat - cute."

"Ravenclaw's …top-ten in their year - of course; that figures … no average blokes like- -"

"- - but on their best day, they never held a candle to - **you**," Hermione said interrupting Ron mid-rant

"- -Me?" Ron finished his thought with a gulp.

"Yes – you,!" Hermione said as standing on the edge of the deep roman bath she began to untie her satin bathrobe.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked in a suddenly worried tone.

"I'm going to take a bath; the tub is more than big enough for two."

"But – you can't do that!" Ron protested franticly.

"And pray tell - Why not, you are my boyfriend now –aren't you?"

"Hermione - - I'm naked".

"Yes I know, - most boys don't wear swimming costumes in a bath-tub", Hermione said trying to lighten the mood. "Your attire deficiency puts me at a disadvantage – so I think it best to level the pitch," Hermione said more casually than she felt - - trying to hide her intense inner nervousness.

"But- but – but,"

"Didn't you tell me that you've dreamed of seeing me naked?" Hermione declared feeling somewhat amused at his reaction to all this.

"More often than you'll ever imagine, – but I always thought it would take –years …to- -"

"- -Get in my knickers?" Hermione interrupted, feeling greatly relieved that '**her**' Ron was as nervous as she was. "I should warn you in advance," she said in a near whisper. "I'm not the kind of Girl that puts-out on the first date".

"… This is a date?" Ron asked anxiously.

"It's the date on the calendar that we got together as a couple. The day I became the girlfriend of a boy - - no, that's not right - - to the - **man** – who wants to grow old by my side".

"I do …you know, I want to marry you one day, settle down – have kids."

"I want that too, but silly – think about-it …to carry out your plans - you are going to have to see me naked … first."

"You're trying to prove something – aren't you?" Ron said in sudden realization. "You don't have to rush things with me; I can wait for when you're ready."

"Yes – you've caught me out," Hermione reluctantly admitted with her untied robe still held closed by her tiny hands. "I'm trying to make several points here, both to you and myself. I haven't flirted with you enough - and it's made you doubt my feelings. My lies about Viktor have only increased your uncertainty ten-fold. Next – I want to prove to myself that I'm not the frigid-prude everyone here thinks I am – that with the right man, - **YOU** - I can be more randy than anyone else".

'_Especially that slut Lavender'_ – she said sternly if only to herself. "Finally, I know that Viktor being my first Kiss is tearing you up inside."

"Hermione – it's alright, really - he was the better man and took first place – with you. – I was a skinny-runt at thirteen. I had a fixation with fame once too – remember?" Ron said trying hard to sound reasonable. "But by the end of fourth year I learned to live with my obscurity. You and Harry will always *outshine me* in notoriety, there is no doubt about that - and I'm alright with that now, - - really I am! - - I just need time to adjust to this abrupt new reality. I didn't dare hope for you to agree to go out with me – and I have to adjust to the concept of having you as my …wow. I will change what I can and accept - hopefully with good grace – what I can't change."

"You have matured a-lot, Ron" – she said proudly.

"Bigger than a teaspoon's worth,?" He asked with a weak, half-smile.

"Oh yes – most definitely," Hermione said as she pulled open her to reveal…

O

OoOoOoOo

O

"Hold-on …Where did you get that?" Ron asked after staring at what she had on - for a solid minute.

"Do you like it?" Hermione asked demurely – turning this way and that – while modeling what she regarded to be her sexiest nightshirt - at the same time ... fighting back the urge to giggle girlishly.

"Of course I do – it's … **mine**!" Ron semi-snarled, "It's the top-half of my best Chudley Cannons pajamas - the bottom half is sitting on top of my towel - by the door. Where – how – did you get it?"

"The details of how they were acquired aren't important right-now; Ronald Bilius," Hermione semi-scolded. "But while we are on the subject, you should also know that in have in my possession - several of your old jumpers that you've outgrown. Now that we are officially a couple - - don't be surprised to see me wearing them in the common-room".

"My jumpers and my night-shirt …eh, is that all you took?" Ron asked now fighting back a smile of his own, for the twins had warned him when he had taken-up with Lavender - about birds that liked to take articles of their boyfriends clothing as a trophy – proof of ownership - or both. It was the female equivalent of the - 'trophy knickers' - and Ron hadn't gotten a pair from Lavender because it was a traditional prize earned only - **after** - intercourse. That Hermione had acquired some of his clothing was extremely reassuring – emotionally - for Ron.

"I also have a pair of your boxers," Hermione admitted reluctantly with a huge blush.

"I can see that you're not wearing them …now," Ron said - noticing that his Cannons night shirt barely covered her knickers covered crotch - making Hermione briefly blush once again.

"No I'm not; in fact I don't normally wear anything under your pajama top." She countered boldly causing Ron ears to turn blood-red. "But; as I looked upon our 'first' bath together as a special occasion – one first …of many - - and I thought I sweeten the memory for both of us with a bit of lace. Honestly though – it was the only bit of the lingerie that I got from Fred - that I even considered wearing.

"**Fred gave you Lace knickers**?" Ron growled as his temper flared red hot.

"Delivered by a house-elf, I suppose, - and the box was from both the twins – not just Fred," Hermione explained as she absentmindedly undid – one at a time – the buttons of the Cannons pajama top - unknowing gaining Ron's total and undivided attention. "I found it on my bed right after you left to come here for a soak."

"They sent you a gift?

"Yes… in the high hopes - I imagine - of getting you laid."

"**GETTING ME LAID – BY … by … by - - - YOU**?" - Ron shouted.

"Yes - and although I do look forward to making love to you, I just don't want to appear to be a '_Scarlet Woman'__**,**_ by putting out on our first date," Hermione said apologetically.

"That's fine Hermione… baby-steps, remember," Ron said without an ounce of disappointment in his voice. – "You're too important to me to risk over a premature *slap and tickle*. I may speak without thinking first – but on the upside you do get my true feelings that way. Please believe me when I say how delighted I am to have you as my girlfriend – at long last. Don't you dare feel pressured to have sex – before you're ready? You can set the pace with us".

"Thank-you Ron, I won't make you wait too long – I promise," Hermione said feeling greatly reassured. Just before she pulled open the nightshirt however – she had another thought that gave her pause.

"Ron – can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure" – Ron spat right back without any hesitation.

"Have you seen Lavender '**Naked**'?"

"Yes I have," Ron replied instantly being totally honest – knowing all too well by personal experience - the pain caused by withholding the sometimes painful truth.

"Then you're in for a huge disappointment." She said in an embarrassed-tone while staring at her feet. Ron saw her emotionally withdrawal and decided to take the bull by the horns.

"Hermione look at me," He said softly in a pleading tone - while standing up in the tub, the scented water came up to half way between his knees and his groin, leaving exposed in all its ridged glory his painfully erect manhood. Ron Weasley had the father of all - 'HARD-ON'S' - and it was pointed at Hermione's midsection like a spear. Hermione didn't intend to stare at it, but she couldn't help it. - For it was the first *cock* she had ever seen – in the flesh.

"I'm - **not** - hung like a hippogriff, nor am I as small as a garden-gnome – does my penis and its lack of troll size proportions - make me *less attractive* in your eyes?" Ron asked shamelessly.

"Of course not," Hermione mumbled softly – unable to tear her eyes away from Ron's penis.

"I saw Lavender naked whenever she tried and - **failed** - to do with *bare flesh* and roving hands – what you managed to accomplish fully clothed - by bending over in the charms classroom three days ago … to pick-up a fallen textbook," Ron explained with surprising candor. "Even putting this" – Ron said pointing down at his ridge manhood. "In-between her huge bosom couldn't get me hard. - Just before I ended it between us - - Lavender actually accused me of being - ***gay***. And yet I got this boner within moments - of you coming into this Prefect bathroom … fully covered."

"- -While still in my bathrobe?" - Hermione asked her downcast face filling with hope.

"I think I fell in love with you, when I suddenly realized that the one person that was more important to me than anyone else – was a girl." Ron said giving her his trademark lopsided grin.

"You're a - _**Gigantic Git**_, - Ronald Bilus!" - Hermione said smiling big and finally dragging her eyes off his baby maker. His sharp wit and sense of humor had guided them past another awkward moment.

"Alright here goes, and by the way; Ron," Hermione said feeling reassured and more than a little-bit emboldened. "Viktor never saw me naked. So this first … is all yours."

A moment later the Cannon pajama top pooled into a pile at her feet and she stood before her future husband in the buff - except for a pair of very cheap looking see-through Knickers. On pins and needles Hermione waited for Ron to say something, anything - - fighting with all her will-power the urge to cover her modest curves with her hands and arms. And after what felt like an eternity she finally heard.

"God Hermione – you're beautiful!"

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Billybob post story notes

*1) - I again give full credit to 'Wind-in-the-Trees' for being the original author of what was at 'one time' a short story. It was first published as a 'stand-alone' on August 8, 2009. Obviously I liked the tale … the plot idea intrigued me.

*2) – I began 'tweaking' the story in 2011 which explains how a short-story got this big. Readers of my other stories know I can't do short … I'm under treatment for this affliction of making 'cute and tiny' into Gigantic … but the prognosis's isn't good.

Actually there is a second chapter to this, equally long … that I wrote on my own … which I have not included because I've painted-myself into a corner (plot-wise) and don't know how to get out … laughter at my expense at this point is fully justified.

Well … all I can say is I hoped you liked this modified "Blast from the Past"


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